Stupid Remus
by Locked in a Stony Tower
Summary: Remus Lupin's years at Hogwarts, seen though the eyes of James and Sirius. Hints of JPLE, no other pairings. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter...'cept my copies of the books and a Time Turner I bought at Barnes and Nobles...

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_I._

_He is awkward and sickly the first time they see him, far too small and skinny to be eleven, and very quiet, but slowly they can make him joke, blush, grin and chuckle softly. He is witty and bright, and they unknowingly find themselves trying to protect the smaller boy. But sometimes he's the one who saves them from Filch or Slytherin forth years, surprising them all. _

_II._

_They find out his secret the next year and it makes life a great adventure, and a quest to try and find a way to help. The tiny boy holds his head a little higher, laughs a little more and smiles more. He seems to truly trust them now, and the three of them can talk for hours about nothing in particular. Just talking to each other and enjoying that. _

_III._

_The next year his father dies, killed by a Death Eater when trying to save a Muggle family. James hears him crying at night, and lays a comforting hand on his shoulder. Remus hiccups back a sob and tries to send his friend away, but James has already slipped in beside him and pushed him over to the far side of the bed, grumbling about how little body heat his friend generates. _

_IV._

_It's amazing to see how tall someone can grow over one summer. He had grown to be taller than James, though not as tall as Sirius and the three of them stay in this height order all the rest of their lives. Still wiry and lean, looking unhealthily thin and far to pale and scarred, he grins at them, passing up his trunk and letting Sirius swing him aboard the Hogwarts Express as it starts to chug away from the station. He winces as he walks and shields his eyes from the sun, and none of his friends ask why it took him so long to get there. _

_V._

_The other three are convinced forever of their brilliance as they transform into two hulking and one tiny animal(s) and accompany him for the first time. James looks haunted for a few hours afterward, but Remus, sleeping in the hospital wing, never sees. Only Sirius notices. But he just laughs it off. _

_VI._

_At first he can't forgive Sirius for telling Snape how to get into the Willow. James can't either, and Sirius finds himself crying in an abandoned classroom, alone for hours. He can't believe he lost the only true family he ever had. It hurts him so bad. But then Remus finds him, and Sirius finds himself forgiven _

_"You're my brother Sirius" _

_James is still mad for a few days. Sirius expects nothing less from James, ever loyal to and protective of his friends._

_VII._

_James cried quietly the night after Remus tried it. Tried to kill himself. Sirius hadn't even bothered panicking _

_"Shit…get me a towel James, we've gotta make him stop bleeding, and then, run, run, run, get Madame Pomphery" _

_Sirius was talking like he had seen someone try thing before, and it was routine to save your best friends from destroying themselves. It scared the crap out of James. Had Sirius himself tried this? Seen Regulus try? Or worse, seen Remus try this before? He was so scared, seeing Sirius carrying Remus down the hall, running after him, their friend lying, so still, looking so helpless and twice as pale. James now had to wonder if all his scars were from the full moon. Did some of them look too neat, too precise?_

"Sirius?" he asked later "Are any of us going to live past 21?"

"You will mate…I know you will…you're going to marry Evens and the two of you will have twelve kids and give all the boys my middle name, except for the oldest one who will be named after me and Moony and-"

"You know what I mean…there's a war going on…and even without it, we're a bunch of screwed up guys…Remus just tried to kill himself because he's a werewolf, and I'm gonna probably get hit by lightning playing Quidditch and smash up at the bottom, Wormtail can get scared into anything and you…"

"Are gonna die prematurely of inbreeding because my parents were first cousins…I know…you seem to think that that explains a lot about my mental state"

"I don't think so, I know so…"

"Arse…Moony will be fine. Bloody idiot…I don't know how he let himself get that hopeless…as if we'd ever let him fall, as if we care if he can get a job or not…stupid git…"

And then James knew that Sirius had been just as scared as him.

"Yeah…" he murmured back under his breath "Stupid Remus"


End file.
